Chris couldn’t sleep. This was so messed up. He didn’t know how to act. Piper had been so, so, just like his mom. She went about business as usual, pilled his plate with food. Reminded him to brush his teeth before bed, as if she’d never stopped, or in this case, always done so.

Leo on the other hand, hadn’t known how to act. Dinner had been a tense affair. No one talked except for Wyatt’s babble. Leo kept shooting covert looks as if he wanted to start some bonding.

Bonding, as if they’d ever bonded. Chris closed his eyes as he remembered the last time he saw his father.

He had just hugged both his aunts goodbye. He knew he’d never see them again. They’d be different. Someone else, but that was worth the sacrifice, for Wyatt.

Bianca was waiting and Leo approached, “Good luck son and be careful.” Chris looked at him and nodded. “I know you won’t believe me Chris, but I love you.”

“You’re right, I don’t,” Chris said with a stony face. A year of fighting along side didn’t erase 18 of being alone. And Leo had just waltzed in barking orders as if he was allowed to.

“I do. And I hope this time I can do right by you.”

“I’m not going back for me, I’m going for Wyatt.’

“That’s what worries me,” Leo whispered and before Chris had a chance to react he pulled him into a hug. Chris didn’t know what to do and his arms just dangled by his side.

“We have to go,” Bianca said and Leo released him.

Chris left and didn’t look back.

He fell asleep thinking of that scene and more came, disjointed.

“I don’t want to hurt you little brother, but you make me,” Wyatt hissed in his ear while grabbing his hair and pulling up his head. Chris couldn’t move. He hurt everywhere; he didn’t remember the last time he ate.

“Mum, I’m home, mum? Mum, NO! DAD! Please dad, mum needs you! Please come!”

“You’re not family!” Leo’s voice was harsh.

“Get out of this house,” Piper’s voice was cold.

One after another memories of war and pain came and he couldn’t get himself out of this trap.

---

“Chris, wake up. Come on sweetie! Wake up,” Phoebe shook Chris as best as he could but the boy kept thrashing and begging and calling for different people. Begging Wyatt not to. Begging Leo to come.

She could feel his despair, his pain. She had surmised he had taken the same potions her sisters had and maybe the potion was wearing off too, or maybe he’s pain was just too big.

She wanted to cry and scream and rip herself apart with what she was feeling and she couldn’t imagine that Chris had been feeling this way all along. But there was love and determination too, determination to save Wyatt and Phoebe had a feeling that was all that was keeping him going, and she was scared of what would happen once he succeeded. Once he didn’t have a purpose anymore.

He finally shot up and his eyes were wild as if he didn’t know where he was.

“Chris,” she said softly to her nephew. How hadn’t they seen who he was? He looked and acted so much like Piper. And she couldn’t shake off how they treated him. She knew they had already been treating him a little better since Prue and Paige came and they realized how much he cared for them. But still. How many times had he said he was here to save Wyatt? How desperate had he seemed? They should have trusted him regardless of who he was.

And she felt horrible that she hadn’t figured out who he was when that was what that vision quest was supposed to tell her. She understood now. The vision wasn’t about her or her future children, like she had been obsessed about. The vision was there to show Chris, and what he was fighting for, his family.

And she and her children where part of his family, but even with him saying the exact same words as her nephew she hadn’t figured that out. They were so certain on their belief that Chris had an agenda that they didn’t see what was right in front of their noses, literally.

“Chris,” she called again and this time he looked a little more awake. “Are you okay?”

“What happened?”

“You were thrashing, I could feel you from my room.”

“You’re not supposed to,” he said, eyes growing wide with alarm. “I took the potion. You weren’t supposed too.”

“Doesn’t matter anymore honey,” she tried to soothe him. “We already know who you are. I understand why you had to block before but you don’t need to anymore- Chris don’t do that!” she cried as she felt his emotions dim and disappear as he shook his head. “Chris.”

“No, no. I can’t. Can’t have anyone inside my head!” he said desperately. “You weren’t to know, you weren’t. You never needed to know and everyone would be fine, everyone would be happy!”

“Chris, Chris, stop!” she tried to calm him down. “You don’t have to do this alone. You’re not alone.”

He looked at her and there was so much pain in his eyes and voice, “Yes I was. For two years I was. I couldn’t tell Aunt Prue and Aunt Paige anything when I saw them. There was always someone listening. And dad never came. I knew he was around. I felt him but he never came. He kept his distance. And Wyatt, that wasn’t Wyatt, my brother wasn’t like that. My brother was good. Sometimes he went overboard but that was always to protect me, but he wasn’t him anymore. Ever since he turned eighteen, ever since he reached his magical maturity. And I was alone, I was alone until Bianca came and now-“ he shook his head. “And I was here, and you were alive again but I was alone and you hated me. You hated me and that hurt so damn much!”

Phoebe wanted to cry, she wanted to tell him to cry. She could hear the tears in his voice, she could see them in his eyes but he wasn’t letting them drop. He was struggling furiously to keep them locked and Phoebe thought that he was afraid of what would happen if the damn broke. She acted on instinct and brought him close to her and he acted on instinct and folding himself he hugged her waist and buried his head in her lap. She kept rubbing circles in his back and she felt his body shake but not one sound came out. She didn’t know how long they stood there. She owed him this, for all the hurt they had caused him.

“We don’t hate you,” she whispered in his ear. “We never did. We were just scared.”

---

“How does he block me out?” Phoebe asked Prue and Prue looked confused. “His emotions.”

“Ah, he had to learn to block himself out to Wyatt or Wyatt would have found him. Found us all. But the link between Wyatt and Chris is the strongest. As I said they are the ones that figured the whole mind speaking, because they do that naturally. With me, or Paige we have to actively try to do that, we have to concentrate but between them, that was accidental. Growing up they learned to block the other out. I guess teenage boys don’t want their brothers privy to all their thoughts and Wyatt obviously had other reasons. Emotions were part of the package between them. Neither is an empath but both could feel what the other was feeling. So he does the same with you. But that he has to do consciously with you because you are an empath, so if he forgets-“

“Or is asleep I can feel him,” Phoebe finished for her. “That’s why he took the potion. A safer option.”

“Yeah, we kind of screwed up there, neither Leo nor Paige could remember exactly when you developed those powers and we got the dates wrong. He was caught by surprise,” Prue grimaced.

“What’s magical maturity? He mentioned last night that that’s when Wyatt changed.”

“Well, you know how our powers were developing since they got unbound?” Phoebe nodded. “A magical child develops power as they grow into their body and if there isn’t any external influence, like in our case, they reach full potential at eighteen. And that’s when Wyatt chose to show his true colors. Once he had reached his full potential. He had obviously been preparing before that, but we didn’t notice and he was a teenager who had recently lost his mother so-“

“Any acting out was explained by that,” Phoebe nodded.

“We weren’t prepared for when he attacked. He caught as all by surprise. A family lunch. He was acting normal, and suddenly we were surrounded by demons and found out we were powerless.”

“Binding potion?”

“In the juice,” Prue nodded. “Once Chris broke us out we broke the bind easily since there was just the potion, no spell. And Chris had already broken his way before, with his friends help. But there,” she looked sad, “We were easy prey.”

“Leo?”

“Hadn’t been there. A charge somewhere or a meeting. Who knows? Wyatt’s next move was attack the Elders and the few who managed to escape warned Leo and closed themselves up so that Wyatt couldn’t enter again.”

“What I felt from him last night I- how can he go around feeling like that?” Phoebe asked in a thick voice.

Prue smiled sadly, “He lost everyone and to someone he loves. He feels responsible, for not saving Piper, for not seeing what was happening to Wyatt and he thinks he is the reason Wyatt killed you and the girls and his Uncles, but he’s not. Wyatt just thought they were on his way. He is actually the reason Wyatt kept me and Paige alive. If Wyatt hadn’t wanted to control Chris then we’d all be dead now. But Chris can’t see that.”

“Why? He’s just a kid. He couldn’t have saved Piper-“

“But he knows that if anyone else had found her, Leo would have come- and he doesn’t realize that he being there isn’t the reason she died. That at least she didn’t die alone.”

“How can I have been such a bastard?” Leo asked from the kitchen door and Prue looked at him sadly.

“Honestly? And I’m not defending your actions, I just want you to understand you do love him,” she inhaled deeply. “Defense mechanism.”

“What?”

“You were supposed to leave for good. To go Up There and stay there but you didn’t manage too. You came back to see Wyatt and found out Piper was pregnant, every time you came you convinced yourself that was going to be the last one. And leaving one son behind was hard, so you never got close. Except you never did leave Wyatt, or Piper or anyone else, you always found an excuse, and Wyatt grew up and the Elders wanted him participating in meetings so you always had time for him.”

“But since I was always about to leave…” Leo said sadly and Prue nodded. He shook his head in disgust, “That’s the worst excuse ever. I won’t let that happen. How can you say I loved him?”

“Because I saw your desperation when Bianca broke him out of Wyatt’s grasp. He almost died, he was touch and go for so long and there was nothing you could do. You never left his side while he was unconscious but when he woke up, he didn’t know how to be your son and you didn’t know how to be his father. You have a second chance Leo. Use it well. Just don’t buy him more beers,” she joked.

And Leo nodded determinedly and Phoebe knew he would. She looked at her older sister and asked, “And you? How do you feel?”

“I hurt yes,” she said shrugging. “But I was older. Knew how to handle myself. And I’m a whitelighter. I have access. Once this was all over. Once the war was finished I knew I’d see you all. Just as I had been able to see Piper. But Chris doesn’t. He’ll have to wait until he crosses over. And I kind of have this embedded knowledge that as bad as the situation might get eventually the pain will end.”

“Oh, so that’s why Leo is always annoyingly peaceful?”

“Hey.”

“Pretty much, yeah.”