Darkness was everywhere, suffocating and absolutely frightening. There was no fighting it, no escaping it. Harry couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe. The darkness had entered his lungs, freezing them with fear. It was almost like it was alive, attacking anyone who dare oppose it. It was impossible to fight back. How do you fight something you can’t see? How do fight when you can’t even move?

“Let Harry go!” James cried.

“But who has him?” Remus asked worried. “He was home, he was safe! Sirius where are you and why aren’t you protecting Harry?” he asked frantically, shaking Sirius.

Pain coursed in the darkness, making it impossible to feel anything else. His limbs were on fire, his chest was screaming and his scar felt like it was tearing at the seams. Harry wanted to cry out, wanted to scream as loud as he could but his vocal cords refused to work. He tried to move but something was holding his arms and legs in place. He wanted to fight. He tried to fight but he couldn’t break free. He was trapped.

“Harry Potter,” a familiar high pitched voice hissed evilly. “Did you honestly think you could escape me? There is no escape for you. I will always be here, in your mind, waiting for the one piece of information that will destroy Dumbledore’s little Order. You will be my spy and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“YES THERE IS!” Lily cried.

“Occlude Harry! Kick him out!” Mr. Potter tried to coach Harry.

No! I would rather die than help you! I won’t betray them! They’re my family! Harry started to panic. His greatest fear had become a reality. He was a danger to those he cared about. He didn’t know how Voldemort pulled it off but it didn’t matter. They were better off without him.

“You misunderstand, Harry,” Voldemort said casually. “You will die. There is no question about that. If you had only accepted my offer this could all have been avoided. I would have spared them but now…now I shall enjoy the pain that their deaths will cause you. Enjoy your freedom while you can, Harry.”

“As if he would spare anyone,” Mrs. Potter snorted. “Don’t believe him Harry.”

NO! YOU WON’T TAKE THEM FROM ME! Panic had shifted into desperation. He didn’t care what it cost him personally. He wasn’t going to let Voldemort take anyone else. The pain was pushed away and replaced with intense warmth that filled his entire body. His lungs thawed, allowing him to breathe. Light started to crack through the darkness like a sheet of dark glass that was slowly breaking to allow the sunlight to finally shine through.

“NO!” Voldemort shouted angrily. “YOU CAN’T FIGHT IT! IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO FIGHT!”

“Guess it’s not that impossible,” Sirius said sticking his tongue out to the book.

Harry struggled to calm himself down and clear his mind of thought. Occlumency may have failed to keep Voldemort out completely but it had kept the Dark Lord from learning anything of importance. I seem to have a habit of defying the impossible. Get out of my mind, Tom, and stay out!

The remaining darkness quickly dissolved as light completely surrounded Harry. Voldemort’s high pitched shriek could be heard as it faded into nothingness. Distant voices could be heard but Harry couldn’t make out what was being said. The light slowly faded into darkness but this time there was no pain. It was a comfortable darkness. His body relaxed and his limbs were released from whatever had been holding them in place. He felt someone take hold of his hand as fingers ran through his hair in a soothing manner that only two people had ever managed to accomplish. Soft waves of nervousness and concern brushed against him followed by a comforting warmth.

“Thank God,” Lily sighed relieved.

Opening his eyes as much as possible, Harry saw the somewhat blurry figure of his godfather staring at him. He blinked tiredly, unable to find the strength to do anything else. He felt like he had just finished an intense training session with Sirius after working a double shift at the hospital. Fingers continued to run through his hair causing Harry to reflexively close his eyes again. He couldn’t bring himself to question what had just happened. He couldn’t even bring himself to speak.

“It’s all right, Harry,” Sirius said softly as he tightened his hold on Harry’s hand. “Everything’s okay now. Poppy’s confident the potion Voldemort gave you is out of your system now.” Harry forced his eyes to open partially and stared at Sirius with a confused look on his face. “It was a potion that would slowly weaken your mental defenses until you were nothing more than a puppet.” Harry inhaled as sharply as he could. “But you don’t have to worry anymore. Poppy gave you the antidote, Harry. It’s over. This entire mess is finally over.”

“Stupid Voldemort,” James grumbled.

Harry couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Occlumency hadn’t failed after all? It had all been because of a potion? Struggling to stay awake, Harry could only wonder what else had been done to him when he had been unconscious. Was it really over or was this only just the beginning? Please let it be over, let this entire nightmare be over. I don’t know how much more I can take.

“Occlumency may not have failed now,” Remus said grimly. “But it obviously wasn’t working properly before.”

“Rest, Harry,” Sirius said breaking the silence. “We can talk about everything later when you’re feeling better. Poppy said that sleep is the best thing for you. She was rather upset at how much weight you’ve lost. I think we may need to borrow Dobby for the rest of the summer or maybe I should offer him to work for us instead of Dumbledore. Merlin knows he would probably be happier here although he might get bored from time to time.”

“Sir’us,” Harry mumbled in a scratchy voice as his eyes slowly closed. “You’re babblin’.”

“When doesn’t he?” James sighed.

“Excuse me,” Sirius said annoyed putting his hands on his hips. “I never babble. I speak directly and clearly.”

“Since when?” Lily whispered to James and everyone besides Sirius, who was glaring fiercely, burst out laughing.

Sirius let out a chuckle. “Yes I am,” he admitted as he released his hold on Harry’s hand and pulled the bedcovers up to Harry’s chin. “You just gave me a scare, kiddo. We couldn’t wake you and you were in so much pain…well, I’ve never actually witnessed one of your scar headaches so it was sort of an eye opener.” Sirius let out a sigh as he carefully wiped the perspiration from Harry’s forehead. “Go to sleep, Harry. I’ll be right here, I promise.”

“Yes Harry, I promise. And I’ll never ever let you out of my sight again,” Sirius agreed.

“Er, Sirius, he’ll be going to Hogwarts and-“ Mr. Potter started but was silenced by a fierce glare from Sirius who hissed.

“Harry is not going back to that unsafe school, staffed with incompetent people and Snivellus.”

“Well, now Sirius. That’s an exaggeration!” Mrs. Potter exclaimed.

James and Lily shrugged at her as if agreeing with Sirius.

“Harry did get kidnapped from right under their noses twice,” Lily reminded them.

‘Lily! Don’t feed Sirius’ obsessions,” Remus said sternly. “I am sure adult Sirius will not be so irrational,” Remus nodded crossing his arms with an air of finality. Sirius snorted and covered it up with a cough.

That was all it took for Harry to give in and fall into a peaceful sleep for the first time in a long time. He didn’t have to sleep with his wand under his pillow or worry any noise that was made during the night. He was home, in his own bed and Sirius was there. He was safe.

---

A cool draft brushed against his chest, pulling Harry reluctantly out of his dreamless sleep. He was still so tired but the cold air wouldn’t go away. It kept teasing him, urging him to wake up. Groggily, Harry reached for his bedcovers but couldn’t find any. He let out a groan in protest as a gentle hand rested on his shoulder to hold him in place. Fingers started to run through his hair, serving as a distraction as a cold substance was rubbed on his chest.

As his mind started to clear, Harry was able to notice the subtle waves of concern and sympathy. Whoever was in the room clearly meant him no harm. Hands rubbed a sore spot near his ribs causing Harry to inhale sharply. When the motions abruptly stopped, Harry slowly opened his eyes to see the somewhat blurry figure of Madam Pomfrey leaning over him. He blinked at her in confusion before shifting his gaze to see that there were two other people in the sunlight filled room. One person was sitting at his bedside while the other was standing at the foot of his bed.

“I apologize, Mr. Potter,” Madam Pomfrey said as she waved her wand over Harry. A tingling sensation spread throughout Harry’s chest, banishing the pain. “It seems the pain relieving potion has worn off sooner than expected. I’m afraid it will be at least an hour until you can have another dose. The majority of your injuries are completely healed. Your wrists are still a little tender and your ribs are obviously still mending. They will probably be sore for some time so I suggest that you take it easy.”

“Yeah, she’s always apologizing for causing pain and making us drink awful stuff but does she stop? Nooooooo. She just enjoys torturing us poor souls-“

“James, Madam Pomfrey isn’t the one causing pain, she is the one healing the pain and you get yourself into the position of needing to constantly drink awful potions,” Remus said tiredly.

“Humph,” James grunted scowling.

Harry watched through partially opened eyes as Madam Pomfrey returned to rubbing the cream-like substance on his chest. Thankfully, there was no pain this time allowing Harry to close his eyes and concentrate on the emotions everyone in the room were sending out. The waves were comforting, soothing. He didn’t know what it was but it was definitely something he wanted to hold on to. It was almost intoxicating which started to frighten Harry. This had never happened before. Why was it happening now?

“Your system has been clean of the Mind Linking Potion for the past twenty-four hours with no side affects,” Madam Pomfrey continued as she pulled the bedcovers over Harry’s chest. “You will still need to be monitored for a few more days but I truly believe there will be no lasting affects from the potion. Your magic has also stabilized over the past two days so there should be no more episodes.”

“In other words, you’re still recovering so you have to stay in bed until Poppy declares you healthy,” Sirius clarified from his place at Harry’s bedside.

Harry slowly opened his eyes again and stared up at the ceiling. He knew Sirius well enough to know there was a lot he wasn’t saying. Resting wouldn’t be the only thing he would be doing for the next few days and he didn’t know how he felt about that. Yes, Sirius deserved an explanation and so much more but Harry really didn’t have a decent explanation for his actions. In his grief over the loss of one guardian he had abandoned the other who was probably experiencing pain similar if not worse than his own. Harry may have loved Remus like a father but Sirius had lost a brother and best friend, his only remaining friend from his childhood.

Sirius glared at Lily, James and Remus with misty eyes. For good measure he glared at Mr. and Mrs. Potter since even if they didn’t know how they had died they were sure they were dead in the future.

‘Siri,” Remus started soothingly but Sirius cut him off crossing his arms.

“You all left me alone, alone!” he hissed. “Bunch of abandoners, that’s what you are.”

“We didn’t do it on purpose,” Lily said in a small voice.

“Don’t care, you left me!”

James was about to say something but Mrs. Potter just shushed him.

“Let him be James,” she said sadly.

That realization was too much. Closing his eyes, Harry couldn’t stop the tears that started to fall. He had put his godfather through hell and he had no one to blame but himself. “I’m sorry,” Harry said quietly. There was so much he had to apologize for he really didn’t know where to begin.

“Ve vill just leave you two alone then,” Viktor said from the foot of the bed. “If you need anything…”

“Thank you Viktor,” Sirius said sincerely. “Poppy, I’ll let you know if there are any complications.” Viktor and Madam Pomfrey left the room without saying another word. Once the door closed, an uncomfortable silence filled the room. Both of them knew there was so much to say but couldn’t find the words. “Please tell me what happened, Harry,” Sirius said at last, his voice pleading. “All of it. How you left Hogwarts, where you’ve been, how we were unable to detect you…what happened when you were taken…”

Harry let out a sigh as he opened his eyes. Might as well get it over with. “When I saw Remus,” he began softly, “I…I couldn’t take it. It was like a part of me died. All I could think was that if it wasn’t for me, it wouldn’t have happened.” Sirius grabbed Harry’s hand but remained silent. “That was when I heard him confirming everything I had feared for so long. The only memory I have of my dad was when he was telling mum to take me and run from Voldemort but I’ll never forget his voice. At first I suspected it was Voldemort but he was so understanding and comforting. He told me it wasn’t my fault and that Remus didn’t blame me.”

“Harry—”

“—I know it was stupid to believe a voice in my head,” Harry continued in a shaky voice. “I…I know it was equally stupid to believe him when he told me that I had to protect you, that I had to leave. I didn’t want to but he was so convincing.” Harry slowly turned his head so his tear-filled eyes looked at Sirius’ somewhat blurry face. Sirius gently brushed away the tears before resting his hand against Harry’s cheek. “I couldn’t lose you too so I asked for help.”

“The voice?” Sirius asked in confusion.

Harry shook his head. “Hogwarts,” he said softly. “I asked her for help. She called for Fawkes who took me to my dorm so I could pack a few things. Before we left Hogwarts, Fawkes did something strange. Hogwarts told me that he was using his magic to protect me and make me undetectable. After that, Fawkes took me to Gringott’s so I could take out some money then transported me to a vacant hotel room. We managed to catch a few hours of sleep before we had to leave. Fawkes returned to Hogwarts and I stayed in Muggle London.”

“So, let me get this straight,” Sirius said in amazement. “You managed to escape a place that Dumbledore had charmed like a fortress with the help of a castle and Dumbledore’s own pet?” At Harry’s tentative nod, Sirius let out a laugh. “Oh, this is unbelievable. We never suspected Fawkes was involved even though all the signs were there. He was conveniently out hunting when we discovered you were missing, he has been hanging around here an awful lot and he wasn’t too cooperative whenever we asked him to try to find you. Dumbledore just thought that he was being difficult.” Sirius shook his head in disbelief and squeezed Harry’s hand again. “Sorry, kiddo,” he said sincerely. “You were saying?”

“Yes, Sirius! Don’t interrupt Harry by laughing!”

“Well James, you have to understand. It must be frustrating,” Lily said.

Harry closed his eyes and let out a tired sigh. He was entering dangerous territory. Should he tell Sirius or not? Should he reveal everything or should he keep it to himself? “There’s really nothing much to say,” Harry answered softly. “I changed my name to Jonathan Orion Evans

Remus puffed his chest and smirked proudly, “Jonathan.” He mouthed to Sirius.

“Yeah, but everyone called him Orion,” Sirius smirked back and Remus pouted.

and got a job as an orderly in a hospital. I kept my head down and my ears open. I—er—learned some things about myself that I’m still trying to work out.”

“Like what?” Sirius asked curiously.

Opening his eyes, Harry decided that keeping secrets from Sirius was only going to cause more problems in the long run. He needed to be completely honest or Sirius would never trust him again. Concentrating on the waves around him, Harry could pick up curiosity, nervousness and a subtle hint of fear. Please don’t be afraid of me. “I’m empathic, Sirius,” he said at last. “I can feel other people’s emotions. That’s why I reacted like I did when my magic was restored. Everyone’s emotions were overpowering me.”

Sirius was silent for a long moment before he pulled Harry into his arms and held him tightly. “Oh Harry,” he said compassionately. “I—I can’t say that I’m not surprised. You’re outbursts have always seemed to be related to your emotions. I guess I just never thought it would surface so soon.” Carefully, Sirius loosened his hold and let Harry lie back down. He took hold of Harry’s hands and held them tightly. “Is it painful?”

James and Lily threw themselves at Sirius.

“Knew we could count on you Siri!” James said as he hugged Sirius. “Even though you laugh at inappropriate times.”

Harry shook his head. Sirius was certainly taking it better than Harry thought he would. “Most of the time it feels like a soft breeze,” he said truthfully. “If I’m paying attention, I’m aware of it but if I’m preoccupied with something else then it doesn’t bother me. If I’m around a lot of people then it’s hard to make out which person has a certain emotion but it’s really not so bad.” Harry looked at Sirius, his eyes pleading. “You’re okay with this, right? I know it’s not normal—”

“Of course I’m okay with this,” Sirius said firmly. “Having an ability doesn’t change who you are and what you mean to me. I’ll help you with this any way I can. Did you really think that I would turn my back on you, Harry?” Harry looked away shamefully giving Sirius his answer. Sirius reached over to the bedside table, picked up Harry’s glasses and slid them on Harry’s face. “Look at me, Harry.” Nervous green met determined blue. “I will never abandon you. You know that. We’ve told you this countless times.”

Tears filled his eyes as he looked away. Remus had told him something similar to that not too long ago. He was relieved that Sirius didn’t think he was a freak but he was still scared that something would happen to Sirius just like it had Remus. He was afraid to be alone again, an orphan without a family. How could he go back to the way everything had been with Dursleys after having Sirius and Remus as guardians?

“Harry, what’s wrong?” Sirius asked worriedly. “What did I say?”

Harry couldn’t bring himself to speak. He tried to pull away but Sirius wouldn’t release his hold on Harry’s hands. Too weak and tired to fight any longer, Harry finally gave into his frustrations. “Remus said he’d never leave too!” he cried as he pulled away from a stunned Sirius. “He promised!”

“YEAH! You promised!” Sirius cried angrily. “Promise breaker!”

“Wasn’t my fault,” Remus said sadly picking at the covers.

 Harry curled into a ball, ignoring the sparks of pain coming from his ribs. Everything that he had forced himself to bury was coming to the surface, especially everything about that night at the Ministry and finding Remus the way he did. “Why did he have to die?” he whispered. “Why?”

“WHY?” James cried and went to his mother’s side and hugged her not caring if the others would mock him.

At that moment, Harry didn’t care if he was being childish. Nothing made sense. Remus was gone and Sirius was being sensible. Sirius was never sensible!

“Never,” Lily mumbled sadly dapping at her eyes with a handkerchief Mr. Potter handed to her.

 Sirius was unpredictable and headstrong! This wasn’t right! None of this was right! Why wasn’t anything the way it was supposed to be? What was next? Professor Snape waking through the door with a smile on his face and declaring his love for all Gryffindors?

“Oh Merlin,” Sirius said in shock. “Oh Merlin! Of course! It all makes sense! I can’t believe we were so stupid! What else were you supposed to think?” Sirius moved so he was sitting on the edge of Harry’s bed and gently pulled the shaking teenager in his arms once again. “I’m so sorry, Harry,” he said sincerely. “I never thought you would interpret it like that. I should have been there. Someone should have been there to explain everything.”

Harry was trying to piece together what Sirius had said as he felt Sirius release him and move so they were sitting face to face. What did he mean ‘interpret’?

“Yeah, what?” Remus asked. “Do you think so many shocks have addled with Padfoot’s brain?” he asked the others and looked at the red-eyed Sirius. “Even more?”

 What was there to explain? Harry was starting to wonder if he had been hit with a Confundus Charm or something because absolutely nothing was making sense. People who are alive breathe. People who are alive are not as still as Remus had been. 

“Harry, look at me,” Sirius said firmly and waited until Harry obeyed. “Harry, I understand this may come as a bit of a shock but Remus didn’t die that night.

“What?” Sirius asked.

He was severely injured and would have died if Poppy hadn’t put him in an Enchanted Sleep.

“She did?” James asked hopefully.

 She basically had to put his body into a stasis to stop the poison from spreading. It was the only way.”

 

Harry stared at Sirius in utter shock. Tears rolled down his face as breathing became difficult. He couldn’t believe it. It took every ounce of strength for Harry to try to grasp the possibility that Remus was alive. Whatever Sirius was saying went in one ear and out the other while Harry heard Sirius’ words repeat over and over again in his mind.  “Remus didn’t die that night.”  How was it possible? “Remus didn’t die that night.” If it were true where was Remus now? “Remus didn’t die that night.” Was he okay?

“He’s alive?” Harry asked quietly. “Moony’s alive?”

“Yes, Harry,” Sirius said slowly. “Moony’s alive.

“YES!” They all cried together and Sirius and James jumped on Remus hugging him.

“Moony! You’re alive!”

Lily threw herself at the jumping trio and Mrs. Potter had tears of happiness in her eyes. When the teenagers let Remus go she hugged him fiercely.

He’s in his room right now, still in the Enchanted Sleep. We have to give him the antidote in small doses since he’s a werewolf. Their systems don’t tolerate some of the ingredients all too well. We’re slowly making progress. Poppy predicts that he will be able to wake up near the end of August if there are no complications. We’re doing all we can for him, Harry. I promise.”

“Of course we are,” Sirius said firmly and then he looked at Remus seriously and said firmly. “I’m never going to let you die on me Moony.”

Harry swallowed nervously. He couldn’t help but wonder if there wasn’t something he could do to help out. He had helped people at the hospital. Why couldn’t he help Remus? He knew he wouldn’t be able to heal Remus but if he could speed the recovery up a bit then wasn’t it worth a try? “Can I see him?” Harry asked hopefully.

“Harry James Potter, you are still recovering. Let Madam Pomfrey do her job. You’ve already jeopardized your safety more than enough for me.”

Sirius gave Harry a compassionate look. “When you’re feeling better, kiddo,” he said as he ruffled Harry’s messy hair. “I know that isn’t what you want to hear but as soon as you have recovered then we can take care of Moony together, all right?”

Harry nodded reluctantly. It would probably be better to be completely healthy. He knew he would have to tell Sirius about his other ability but he really didn’t want to get Sirius’ hopes up. What if he couldn’t help Remus? He couldn’t control the ability yet, it still controlled him. What if it wouldn’t let him heal Remus? Not heal. It’s not actual healing. It’s only helping people recover. That’s all I’ve ever been able to do. 

“We can talk about the rest later,” Sirius said as he stood up, pulled off Harry’s glasses and set them down on the bedside table. “I’ve already kept you awake longer than I should have.”

Harry could hardly believe what he was hearing. How could he sleep after the bombshell Sirius had just dropped on him? Harry was tired but hearing about Remus’ recovery was more important than sleep. “But—”

“—Harry,” Sirius warned. “Do you really want Poppy mad at you?”

Harry shook his head as straightened himself out and pulled the bedcovers up to his neck to hide his bare, bruised chest. He really didn’t want to be stuck in bed any longer than necessary and knew that following Madam Pomfrey’s orders was the only way to prevent that. “I’m really sorry for causing so much trouble,” Harry said sincerely.

Sirius smiled softly as he picked up a vial from Harry’s bedside table. “I know, Pronglet,” he said gently as he removed the cork from the vial. “Just so you know, you are grounded and we will be having a few talks about your tendency to shield everyone from what you’re going through. I’m the guardian here, not the other way around. I’m supposed to be protecting you. That was what your father would have wanted, all right?”

“See, yeh of little faith. I can so ground him if I want to. Hah!”

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll believe it when we see it,” James snorted.

Harry nodded obediently. Logically, it made sense but in his heart, Harry wanted to protect his family. He didn’t know why he couldn’t just trust Sirius to handle everything. Why did he feel like he had to be the one to stand against the dark forces of the world? Because everyone expects me to be their savior since I’m the-boy-who-lived. It was as simple as that. The moment Harry had entered the wizarding world he had become what everyone wanted him to be. Even at the age of eleven, no one had told him stopping Quirrel had been wrong. No one had scolded him for facing off against a Basilisk, a sixteen-year-old Tom Riddle and even Dementors. Harry was a protector and he didn’t know if he could let that go so easily.

“Harry?” Sirius asked in a concerned tone. “What’s wrong?”

Letting out a sigh, Harry just shrugged his shoulders. This was going to be difficult. “I—I just don’t know how to be both,” he said softly as he sat up and stared at Sirius, begging him to understand. “Everyone wants me to be the-boy-who-lived and you want me to be a kid. I wish I knew what it was like to be normal. I only know that when Remus and you entered my life I was happy. I had a family who loved me for who I was and I couldn’t bear losing it.” Biting his lower lip, Harry let out a long breath in an attempt to keep his emotions under control. He really didn’t want to break down anymore. “I—I just can’t help it.”

Sirius sat down at Harry’s bedside and let out a long breath. “Harry, what do you want to be?” he asked gently. “You have to stop trying to satisfy everyone because that is impossible to accomplish. Trust me, I know. I realize that you will never be able to be a normal teenager and I blame your relatives and Dumbledore for that. Being thrown into the wizarding world like you were was a mistake. I honestly don’t know what Dumbledore was thinking if he was at all. I understand this is hard but you have to stop thinking that everyone else is more important than you. Your parents thought your life was worth enough to die for…and so do I. This is what I choose, Harry. I’m aware of the danger but I keep on fighting. That is my choice. If I didn’t want this, I wouldn’t be doing it.”

“Sirius, how did you get so profound?” Mr. Potter asked.

“I learned from the best Mr. P,” Sirius winked at him.

“Suck up,” James muttered.

It was what Harry needed to hear even if he didn’t want to believe it. He understood that Sirius and Remus had the right to make their own choices just like they had been for years. Harry couldn’t take that away from them any more than they could take it away from him. It was a simple fact that was still so hard to accept. He had no control over other people’s decisions. He had forgotten one of the first theories Sirius and Remus had taught him: ‘focus on what you can control’.  It was amazing how hard it was to accept the theory when ones you care about were involved.

Sirius rested a hand on Harry’s shoulder and gently urged him to lie back down. “Just think about it, all right?” he asked softly. “Now, Poppy left a Calming Draught to help you relax. With your recent vision we don’t want to give you any sleeping potions. It’s easier to wake you if it’s a natural sleep.” Sirius raised the vial to Harry’s lips. “Just a sip, kiddo.”

Harry obediently took a sip of the potion and could feel the affects instantly. His body relaxed and everything felt so hazy. He blinked tiredly as Sirius tucked him in and ran a hand through his hair. Leaning into the touch, Harry let out a content sigh and closed his eyes. The pull to dreamland was too strong to fight so Harry did the only thing he could. He succumbed to the darkness.

---

Whispering voices were what woke Harry hours later. He was lying partially on his side with his head turned away from the door. Surprisingly, there was significantly less pain from his ribs which made Harry wonder how long he had slept. His mind slowly cleared allowing him to pick up on hints of concern, eagerness and nervousness. Rolling completely on his back, Harry tried to concentrate on the voices but they were too soft for him to make out anything.

Someone was gently took hold of his hand, rubbing their thumb over the back of it in a soothing motion. Harry slowly turned his head towards the person who was holding his hand and partially opened his eyes. He was surprised to see Tonks’ spiky, purple hair clearly visible even in the dimly lit room. His movement didn’t go unnoticed as the whispers abruptly stopped. With her free hand, Tonks reached over to Harry’s bedside table, grabbed his glasses and slid them on his face. Everything came into focus, allowing Harry to see that Tonks had been talking to Viktor Krum who was sitting on the foot of the bed.

“And she didn’t knock anything over in the process?”

“Don’t be mean Harold,” Mrs. Potter scolded.

Tonks rested her free hand on Harry’s forehead for a long moment before pulling it away. “How are you feeling?” she asked gently. “You’re still a little pale and a little warmer than normal but after everything that’s happened I guess we should be grateful.”

Harry slowly blinked at her. With the lighting he couldn’t see her completely but he could see enough to see the worried look on her injury-free face. He couldn’t help mentally cursing himself for not thinking about her state before now. She had been one of the people who had faced off against the Death Eaters because of him. “You weren’t hurt, were you?” Harry asked in a scratchy voice. “Did the shield work?”

Tonks lightly slapped Harry on the arm. “After all you’ve been through you’re worried about that?” she asked in disbelief. “We have to seriously work on your priorities, little one.” Harry scowled at Tonks’ nickname for him. He really wasn’t little anymore.

“Just like James,” Mr. Potter chuckled and pinched James’ cheek. He received a swat and a glare for that.

“We also need to have a serious talk about your disregard for authority. Kingsley and I are the trained Aurors, not you. Why did you feel the need to protect us from something we were trained to do?”

Harry let out a sigh as he closed his eyes. “I—I don’t know,” he said truthfully. “I just wanted to keep my family safe. I didn’t want anyone else to die because Voldemort is obsessed with me. Mum, Dad and Cedric were killed, Remus is now in an Enchanted Sleep, and that Muggle neighborhood was attacked all because of me.”

“Harry!” Tonks scolded. “You are not to blame for what You-Know-Who has done! You have done everything you could, do you hear me?” Harry turned his face away forcing Tonks to gently turn his face back. “Look at me, Harry,” she said firmly and waited until Harry obeyed. “Yes, You-Know-Who’s actions seem to form around you but you’re not to blame for his obsession. You have always done everything in your power to stop him. Sometimes it isn’t enough but at least you try. That is more than a lot of people in this world.”

But it still hurts when I fail. It still feels like I let everyone down.

Tonks let out an annoyed sigh and slammed her head into the mattress. “I don’t believe this!” she cried in frustration as she raised her head and looked at Viktor, “Help me out here! He obviously won’t listen to me!”

“Well, what did you expect?” Mrs. Potter said exasperated. “He is a Potter! Their heads are harder than steel!”

“Look who’s talking,” Mr. Potter muttered and when his wife glared at him he covered with a cough.

Viktor shrugged his shoulders helplessly. “How can you be surprised?” he countered. “I could have told you during the tournament that Harry vas extremely protective of those he cares for. He made that very clear vhen I vas interested in courting Her’mion’e. It is obvious that nothing has changed since then. Vith vhat’s happened to Mr. Lupin, can you blame him for acting this vay? I vould too if my family vas in danger.”

That clearly wasn’t what Tonks wanted to hear. “Viktor!” she scolded. “You’re supposed to be on my side here!”

Viktor shrugged again. “I’m not saying he’s right,” he said truthfully. “I’m just saying I understand vhere he’s coming from. Vouldn’t you do the same if he vas in danger? Vouldn’t you risk everything to protect him? After vhat he’s seen, how can you just expect him to be a child like everyone else?”

Tonks enfolded her arms across her chest and sulked. “Stupid men always ganging up on me,” she muttered irritably.

“Of course,” Viktor said as he shot Harry a grin. “Ve men must stand together in times of need. Besides, I believe it is Mr. Black’s place to scold Harry, not ours. How vould you feel if everyone vas constantly yelling at you for mistakes you’ve made? Ve’re here to help Harry, not make him feel vorse.”

Too late for that. Harry was grateful for Viktor’s support but he couldn’t help feeling that he deserved whatever Tonks, Sirius, Professor Dumbledore and the rest of the Order threw at him. He had made so many mistakes lately that he had lost count. Sirius and Tonks were right. He did have a problem with allowing others to take on the fight that so many believed was his own. His talk with Sirius had pointed that out. Perhaps Sirius was right. Perhaps his years with the Dursleys had left scars that he had yet to acknowledge.

Closing his eyes, Harry pulled himself into a sitting position and waited as a slight wave of dizziness made him feel a little woozy. He felt a hand rub his arm gently as the wooziness slowly passed. Soft waves of concern washed over him, reminding Harry that there were two people in the room who were no longer bickering with each other. He let out a long sigh as he opened his eyes. “Please don’t argue,” Harry pleaded. “I know I’m going to be yelled at for months to come and I deserve it. I endangered so many people because I can’t bring myself to trust others to do what the entire wizarding world has claimed to be my responsibility. I—”

Harry was engulfed in a fierce embrace before he could continue. He had a feeling that he would also be in this position quite a lot in the near future. Out of all of the girls he knew, Tonks was the least likely to openly display emotions. She often took Sirius’ route and hid behind humor to ease tense situations. Harry took this as a sign that Hermione, Ginny and especially Mrs. Weasley were going to be extremely emotional. He didn’t know whether to be touched that there were people who cared about him or to dread their arrival. Ever since his abilities had surfaced he had refrained from physical contact as much as possible.

“Yeah, that will be a daunting experience,” Remus grimaced.

“I’m sorry, Harry,” Tonks said gently as she continued to hold him protectively. “I’m so sorry. Viktor’s right. We should be helping—not hurting you. We’ll work through this. We’ll help you see that it’s not you’re not alone, no matter what it takes.” Tonks pulled back and looked into Harry’s eyes. “Do you hear me? You are not alone! We’re all in this together. The wizarding world can go A.K. themselves for pushing their problems off on a teenager. Sooner or later they’re gonna have to stand up for themselves and I prefer sooner.”

“You know,” Mr. Potter said. “I am not surprised at all that Nymphadora has no problems in saying what she thinks. She sure doesn’t have any qualms now.”

“Oh, Harold. She’s four!” Mrs. Potter sighed.

Lily looked at the others confused.

“Tonks loves asking dad embarrassing questions when Andromeda comes to visit Padfoot,” James chuckled.

“I’m sure Charlie vill love to hear all about this later,” Viktor said in an amused tone then smiled at Harry. “He said you vould act like his mother when Harry vas found.”

Tonks glared at Viktor. “And how do you know how Molly acts?” she asked defensively. “You’ve met her once!”

Viktor simply shrugged his shoulders and he rose to his feet. “Charlie and Bill told me all about her,” he said casually. “Now, vould you like to answer any questions Harry has or should I?”

Tonks rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I was getting to it!” she shot back. “Would it be possible for you to let me talk to my nephew without you constantly interrupting? If I wanted your input I would ask for it.”

“I feel sexual tension in the air.”

“James, that’s my baby cousin!”

Harry felt like he was in the middle of Chaser practice, watching the Quaffle as it was tossed from one team mate to another. To say he was confused was an understatement. When did Tonks and Viktor turn into Ron and Hermione? “Er—I hate to interrupt this but what is going on here?” Harry asked nervously. “I thought Charlie was in Romania and you, Viktor, should be in Bulgaria. Isn’t it in the middle of Quidditch season?”

Viktor and Tonks shared a look before they returned their attention to Harry. “Vell, I’m currently on personal leave,” Viktor explained. “Vhen my letter to you came back, I contacted Mr. Black. He told me your vere missing. I offered to help and I’ve been here ever since.” Harry moved to protest but Viktor raised his hand and silenced him. “Harry, you vere missing and captured by You-Know-Vho. Vhere else vould I be? My team vasn’t too happy but some things are more important than a game.”

Harry couldn’t help but smile. “Don’t let Ron here you say that,” he said in a joking manner. “To him nothing is more important than Quidditch.”

Tonks ran a hand through Harry’s hair. “Oh, I don’t think he’ll agree with that,” she said knowingly. “The entire Weasley family has been worried about you. They’re rather angry with Sirius for blocking the Floo and demanding that no one visit until you’re ready.” Tonks grinned at Harry’s relieved sigh. “Just so you know, Harry, we found your wand. It was a little charred but Ollivander claims he can have it as good as new in a week. It would be sooner but there is the slight problem of no one but you being able to touch it.”

Harry let out another relieved sigh. He was particularly fond of his wand and didn’t want to replace it. Looking down at his bare right wrist, Harry bit his lower lip nervously. “Did you find anything else?” he asked softly.

Tonks and Viktor shared a glance before Tonks reached over to Harry’s bedside table and picked up a familiar looking watch. “Sirius mentioned that you would be looking for this,” she said as she put it on his wrist. “We also found your Gringott’s key which Sirius has vowed to keep hidden until you’re seventeenth birthday. Of course Sirius has also claimed that you are never leaving the house again. I think he may actually mean it this time.”

“Definitely do!” Sirius nodded and Remus considered calling a Psychiatrist for him.

Harry closed his eyes as he wrapped held his right wrist to his chest and leaned back against the pillows. He had always treasured every gift he had received from his guardians, not matter how small. He had left so much behind in his haste to leave that night but his watch from Remus had never left his wrist. Harry knew that Sirius had every right to take away privileges. It honestly didn’t bother him. For the first time, Harry wasn’t eager to return to Hogwarts. He wanted to spend as much time with his guardians as he could. He wanted to help with Remus’ recovery. He needed to work through his habit of rushing off into trouble.

“Sirius! Your madness is contagious!” Mrs. Potter cried.

Tonks gently ushered Harry to lie down completely before tucking him in. “Get some sleep, Harry,” she said as she pulled off his glasses and set them on the bedside table. “Poppy will be here in a few hours for your next batch of potions and probably a list of food you are allowed to eat. You’ve been on nutrient potions for the past few days to help your body recover.” Tonks picked up a vial from the bedside table, uncorked it and placed it at Harry’s lips. “Just a sip, Harry.”

Harry scowled but did as he was told. He really didn’t want to sleep but figured that it was better to listen rather than protest. They know best. I have to trust them. His eyes slowly closed as his grip on his right wrist loosened. I’ve already put them through so much. He could feel fingers pressed against the side of his neck as he slowly drifted to unconsciousness. No more pain. I won’t…cause them…any more…pain.

Darkness took him once again.

“I have to say, this was a relieving chapter,” James said happily.